A lot of my identity has taken form in my name. My name, Veronica Marie Cosbey, has never quite fit me right. In the past two years, I’ve come to terms with the uncomfortable feeling I get when I see or write or hear my name. And it’s been hard to develop a relationship with it all over again. I made myself a new name and I’m happy to say I’ve started to grow into it.
Vin Marie Macsen Boyd has a lot to it for a self-given name. Let’s start from the end and come to the front.
“Boyd” is the last name of my stepdad and his family. Since I’ve met him and since he’s been with my mom, I've felt much more connected with him than my biological dad. I still love my Cosbey family, but it isn’t the same now that the relationship between me and my dad is nonexistent. The family’s been through a lot.
And since The Boyd’s have been all that I could ask for in a found family, I’d like my given name to express that.
“Macsen” is a middle name i was originally going to switch out for “Marie.” I was initially going to change my entire name to disassociate from it, to better further my experience of discomfort with my given name. Macsen is derived from the name “Maximus,” obviously meaning “best” or “greatest.” I won’t admit I’m trying to hype myself up with it. But I’ve decided to keep the name Marie because it has ties to my mom’s family, whom I still love and have better connections to. So I decided to add both names to my identity.
Finally. “Vin.” What is Vin? What does it mean?
Vin is a Latin name meaning “conquering.” And yes, again, it was a very empowering meaning. Especially after going through the multiple identity crises of not being comfortable in my own skin. Vin was the first name I wanted to change, and it’s been the core of my identity for a long time now.
I like going by Vin. Of course, a lot of people see it as a nickname, since it’s not on any of my legal records. Once I get the money and the availability to, I’d want to change my full name. To prove that I made it.
This post made me emotional in a way. After being your friend for going on 17 years, I love seeing how much you have grown to become yourself and the amazing person you are today. I am extremely ready to see you tomorrow, Vin. I want to give you a big hug when I do. I wish I made more time to come see you this summer, but I enjoyed the days we did spend together. No matter how much time we spend apart, I can always count on you to be there for me and give me the best advice. I'm super excited for the day you get your name legally changed, so you can be known as Vin Marie Mascen Boyd like you deserve to be. You're such a strong person and you're going to do great things with your life. I love ya. -Victoria #7
ReplyDeleteThis is more than just a blog post for a summer assignment. This is a statement of identity, and that takes some major courage. I know you probably already know this, but I want to publicly state that I hold so much respect for the things you do and overcome everyday. From what I've heard and what I've seen, it doesn't seem like there is ever an easy day in the life of Vin, and for that, I truly honor you. I've only known you for a couple of years, but that's more than I'd ever need to know that you will inspire so many people one day, and I get the satisfaction of being one the first. -Robert
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