Heavyn Hadl - Compare/Contrast Essay

Dating Habits in South Korea vs. America

South Korea and America are on two different sides of the world; separated by over 6,600 miles of straight ocean. Two completely different societies, cultures, beliefs, governments, traditions, dating habits, and the list goes on. However, the dating habits between them aren’t as different as some people may think. They do have some similarities between them; however, there are also some interesting differences that some people might not think about.

One of the several differences between the two is that Korean couples normally look for compatibility. Of course, the appearance matters too, but compatibility is super important. Paige Haverstock, a blogger who lives in South Korea, tells of several differences between the two. She starts by saying that beauty and appearance is the most important factor when looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend. She also tells that, for the women, the size of the guy’s wallet is also an important factor. She then states that Korean people don’t often set themselves up with other people. Normally, they have their friends or family set them up on a blind date. Another difference, according to her, is that the person who plays the dominant role in the relationship is also different. In America, it is normal for the male to try and impress the female at first. However, after a certain amount of time, this changes. Both the female and male try to equally impress each other throughout their relationship. In Korea, the male is the dominant one of the relationship. He is the one who will go out of his way to keep his woman happy. He will often carry his woman’s purse, give lots of gifts, shower her with compliments, etc. The last difference she points out is that when a relationship gets serious and the couple starts really caring for one another, they often take their boyfriend/girlfriend home to meet the family. Well, that is how most American couples do it anyways. However, it is totally different for Korean couples. Korean couples rarely ever take their partner home to meet the family unless they intend to marry that person shortly after (Haverstock, Paige).

Another difference is provided by 10 Magazine Korea, claiming that most Korean couples don’t often spend a lot of time with each other. Koreans are well known for having busy and tight schedules, so they don’t normally have a lot of time to spend with their significant other ("8 Cultural Differences To Expect When Dating In Korea | 10 Magazine Korea.").

A few more of the several differences are provided by an article in Soompi, a popular international website that covers Korean culture, music, etc. The article goes to inform people that most Koreans don’t date strangers. The majority of them don’t go online, like most Americans often do, to find a possible future boyfriend or girlfriend; instead, they focus on mutual friends or people in their friend group. They also provide that Korean couples are known for going all out and matching, sometimes from head to toe, with their significant other. They wear matching hats, shirts, pants, shoes, accessories, you name it. “#Couplegoals” is what some call it. But, Korean couples do this in an attempt to show everyone that they are in a relationship together. Another reason they do this to show their partner that they are serious and are committed to the relationship. Now, while this is similar to couples in America, Koreans have taken it a few steps further. The article then goes to talk about how several restaurants have created menus specifically for couples. It also states that at major attractions and events, there are often romantic deals created for couples and at movie theaters, private loveseats are offered to help make the date more intimate. The article also states that excessive amounts of PDA is not common in Korea. It is often looked down upon when a couple shows a lot of PDA. Holding hands, a small peck on the cheek or lips, and hugging is okay; however, you won’t find a couple making out or touching inappropriately in public. Nobody wants to see that, and ajummas (older Korean women, also known as grandmas) are not shy to say something about it. Another difference provided is that Korean couples have anniversaries more often than American couples do. It is very common to have an anniversary every year that an American couple is together. However, Korean couples celebrate their anniversaries all of the time. They might have every 100th day anniversaries, 200th day anniversaries, or an anniversary every couple of weeks ("7 Things You Should Know About Dating In Korea." Soompi).

The last difference they provide is that Korean couples are known to text each other constantly. Instead of texting once or twice a day, like most American couples do, they text non-stop to keep their partner updated about their day and vice versa. This is so popular that a business in Seoul, South Korea, began to set up booths where people can buy a brand new, fully charged battery for only a few dollars in case their battery dies. They can also call and have a brand new battery delivered to their significant other, family member, or friend if their battery dies ("7 Things You Should Know About Dating In Korea." Soompi).

According to the blog "The Rules Of Dating: Korean Style", Koreans, more particularly Korean females, are very “coy”. The more innocent a girl seems, the more attracted the guys are to her. “Sexual advertisement” is not as popular in Korea. Koreans keep their private business to themselves. That same blog also tells us that most Koreans, especially the younger generations, will admit that they had never had a serious relationship until after high school. It is very popular for teenage Koreans to stay focused on their school work, unlike most of the American teenagers today. For us, we start “dating” at a ridiculously young age and by the time we have graduated high school, we’ve already gotten our hearts “broken” a trillion times and we label all guys as jerks or worse. However, if you were to talk to a female in college about guys, they’d sound like a love struck 16-year old. And because of this, their standards are often unbelievably high, which is not good for the poor college guys who are just learning about dating. ("The Rules Of Dating: Korean Style.")

Now, while there are some interesting differences between our dating habits, there are also some similarities. For instance, in both South Korea and America, the man pays for the first date and the girl normally waits for the guy to call after the date. Haverstock not only pointed out differences, as stated earlier in the essay, but she also pointed out a similarity between the two. She pointed out that blind dates are also common in Korea as well as they are here (Haverstock, Paige). More similarities are pointed out by the blog, “The Rules Of Dating: Korean Style".  That blog inferred that, like most Americans today, Koreans don’t always date just to find a husband or wife right away. South Koreans don’t normally get married until their late twenties, early thirties. So, before that, they are known for dating just for fun. However, there is a difference in someone they date and someone they marry. The blog also states that, while Korean men may date a woman who is poor or can’t cook, most would never take her home to meet the parents or even think about making the relationship official by tying the knot ("The Rules Of Dating: Korean Style.").

Although South Korea and America are two completely different countries with different cultures, there are some similarities between them, especially when it comes to dating. However, even though there are some similarities in Korean dating habits, there are more differences that matter and make the experience different, especially if someone isn’t used to it.