I swear I’m not Shrek.
Since this summer has started, I’ve been much more in tune with the real world. And no, I don’t mean things like taxes and students loans and living off a budget(I’m still clueless about all of that, if someone would lend me a hand, that’d be great). I mean things like nature and animals and... things that are alive.
After my eldest brother’s Backyard BBQ yesterday, I had a phone on one percent and a long drive home. My brother and his wife played good music, so that kept half my mind busy, but the rest was racing.
Looking out over miles of fields, farms, and sparse houses, I realized I wouldn’t mind staying in Arkansas for college. And that I wouldn’t mind living in a little house by myself. With half my backyard a food garden. And the other half a chicken coop. With chickens. And occasional fresh eggs.
Maybe it’s all a part of a dreamlike idealization of my future, but maybe it’s what I really need.
Regardless, I’ve been a green freak. I’ve started pressing flowers in an unused biology textbook from 1994. I first paint a spread of two pages black, then I get rid of any further planning. That is to say, I disregard sketching out ideas first and just go the directions my mind takes me. I let my imagination roam. I use a white paint pen to draw designs that make me happy. I designate a spot for the pressed item and work around it, writing its name above it.
I started a spread for cicada wings, since the bugs are bountiful around this time especially. In pencil, I lightly drew an open palm. Then, as I collect more wings, I draw individual cicadas to realistically display them on. It’s really given me the kind of creative freedom I’ve been begging for.
Creating things without a plan feels like pushing all my worries to the back of my mind. It lets me make artwork I’m proud of and it helps me relieve stress and tension I forgot existed.
In the next journal entry, look forward to ghosts.
I really relate to this post. I have noticed recently that I would not mind staying in Arkansas much either. I think I would rather stay in a more wooded area by a lake perhaps, rather than surrounded by corn and cotton fields. After traveling to Florida recently and seeing states surrounding us I have noticed there's a lot of the same scenery. There's evergreen trees in Florida, and this shocked my aunt Katie. There were new things to see such as trees with Spanish moss and palm trees that I've never seen in person before. I am also very interested in plants, animals, and biology in general. I have been using the iNaturalist app to help me learn new plants and animals around me. For those of you who don't know what iNatuaralist is, it's an app where all you have to do is upload pics of the plant or animal and it can help you figure out what exactly it is. It's perfect for me considering I love both photography and biology. -Victoria #4
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