A lot has changed. At the same time, nothing really has. My summers have always been lazy breaks from routine. Time to step back from ever present assignments and deadlines. Time to take a moment from daily anxieties. Time to casually consider mortality and college and jobs and not enough money and breakups and big/not-so-big changes and worry and stress and anxiety and loneliness.
At least for me.
My summer consisted of lazy fun. It’s been difficult to accept my almost constant homebound-ness. I don’t have a driver's license or a car or a job to pay for gas or on shopping sprees and guilty pleasures.
And that’s okay!
This summer, I met my best friend for the first time.
We’ve known each other for almost five years. It’s all been online, though, so this was the first time we actually met in person. It was relieving, to finally know the answers to all of our shared suspicions.
And in one of the weeks they were here, we invited another friend over to help us with and ouija board seance. We might’ve summoned a demon who now lives in my house.
This summer, I went fishing on a river with my mom and stepdad. It doesn’t sound like much, but it was one of our first few real bonding experiences we got to enjoy together. It was one of the most genuine fun I’ve had with the both of them together. And that was good in itself.
To put it shortly, I didn’t go out that much. I mostly stayed inside to worry by myself, but as an introvert, it wasn’t a bad summer at all. When I did hang out with friends, it was mostly in my own home, so I could be the most genuine and comfortable version of myself with them.
When I go out, I have to have a space in time where I can maybe step away and calm down by myself. For one, it helps me take a bigger grasp of what’s going on around me so I don’t get overwhelmed. And after a long day of interaction, I need to be shut inside my room for the rest of the hours of the day to recharge my energy.
As summers go, this has been one of my favorites.
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