Reasons I Should Not Be Allowed on the Internet by Kristin Helms

       The internet allows certain privileges to people who should not be given these advantages. I am one of those people. The internet gives me access to unlimited jokes, Photoshop, costs money, and gives false information.

        Photoshop is the first reason I should not be allowed on the internet. This wonderful app allows me to crop my face onto any image I desire. For example, I recently cropped my face onto Meredith Grey’s while she was standing with Derek Shepherd. I also cropped my face onto a half cat-half whale. I should not be given this privilege.

        Internet is not only available on a computer, but also any cellular device when a data plan is purchased. What is a data plan? A data plan allows people to use the internet when they are not connected to Wi-Fi. When Wi-Fi is not available and you want to access the internet, just use data. However, you are limited to a certain amount of data each month. If the data limit is exceeded, the phone company will charge you a fee. I usually use a lot more data than I should and almost always go over my limit, resulting in a lecture from my mother on responsibility.

        The third reason I should be banned from the internet is a popular search engine called ‘Google’. Google lets people search basically anything. For instance, when I am sick with an average cold, I can Google my symptoms to figure out what deadly disease I have acquired this week. The internet lies. Google also allows me access to millions of joke websites. Naturally, I use these jokes at the most inappropriate times, resulting in judgment from my peers. I blame the internet.

        Photoshop, data limits, and Google are all trying to ruin my life. I have come to the conclusion that the internet is the reason for most of my problems: my empty bank account, judgment from peers, and unnecessary doctor appointments. If I was no longer allowed access to the internet my problems would most likely disappear.