It all started 2 years ago when I lost my boyfriend to something no young girl should have to go through, but we won't get into all the details. Someone that was very important to me had just decided that they didn't want me anymore and handled things the wrong way. Some people might say teens are too young to be heartbroken, but I definitely was. The situation made me feel so unworthy about myself, and that no one would ever want me, because I wasn't important enough to be loved. In my mind I was unlovable. Which is totally not true and it has taken me a long time to get to that point. I held on to that hate and sadness up until the end of last school year. It was the biggest regret that I have.
Because of holding on to anger, sadness, hate, and all the other mixed emotions that with it, it caused a lot of damage in my life. Not necessarily physical damage, more of mental damage. I don't have many close friends as it is to begin with, but the few that I had, I slowly started to shut out of my life. Looking back, I'm not sure why I decided to do this. The only reason that I can think of is that, well this close person hurt me, so why wouldn't everyone else do the same. I couldn't handle all of the feelings it seemed like, it caused me to do bad in school, because I wouldn't listen, it also caused me to have no more relationships in my life including family and friends. My thought process was if I shut everybody and everything out, nothing bad would happen, that I couldn't possibly let myself down.
Looking back I wish I would've handled the whole situation different. I realize now that the time I wasted being sad, I will never get back. Don't let others actions affect you to the point it affected me. It will be time wasted, and you will look back and regret everything.
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