Arm's length - Kim Wilson (19)

     The worst feeling you get is when you trust someone and they let you down. When you truly love someone and they just leave you. When you're someone who built walls so high, you never thought they'd ever come down. But they did, and it was him to blame. You don't trust easily, but he somehow gained your trust in a few short weeks when it's taken you years to trust your friends. When he makes you open up and you finally feel like you have someone to talk to about everything that goes on in your mind. You're no longer scared to text him first because he makes you feel comfortable, a feeling you don't get often. He tore down your insanely high walls and you began to feel yourself fall. That was new for you because you always kept people at arm's length because you could never trust someone after what happened, but he made you trust him. He tore down your walls and actually made you feel something. But then you begin to sense him slipping away. He's drifting further and further from you and there's nothing you can do. No more texting, no more silly phone calls. He doesn't send you the good morning texts you loved. He doesn't ask you how your day is anymore. It hurts you so much. You cry because the boy who made you feel is now gone. You become angry at yourself for trusting him, and this may be the final straw. This makes your heart like ice and you like it that way. You can't feel pain if you don't feel anything at all. You once more begin to keep people at arm's length. It's better that way, you tell yourself every morning as you check your phone to see if today was the day he'd walk back into your life. But no, there's no text. Everyone you loved has left you; what makes him any different? You're the queen of ice. You keep everyone in the cold.

This is the story of how I, Maya Williams, became “the queen of ice.” Well, that's what all of the guys call me.