Questionable Love- Bethany Pace (17)

Sonata of hate


There's no way
You
Loved
Me
There's no way
Love can be underneath you
Like a balloon
It'll pop underneath your weight if you move a certain way and question anything
Just like our "love"
I didn't move
Maybe I didn't want my heart to pop, just like a balloon
But before I even got the chance to ask
You brought pins and needles
I could either lay on them on my back
Or
Lay on my stomach and pop the ballon and create chaos
So of course I chose the post painful route
But regardless
You came along
And you should've laid beside me or lifted me off the needles
But instead
You popped the balloon
My heart with your bare hands
And along the way
Pushed me further down
Until the needles were
Stabbing me...
In the heart, even though it was shattered
In the lungs, I couldn't breathe
In the back, you betrayed me
In the head, I couldn't think straight
You don't hurt someone you love
You can't just blow up another balloon,
Another heart and expect everything to be fine
You stab someone
Kill someone
Shatter their heart
And blame them
You can shoot someone
And tell them
"I can't love you anymore
Because
There's a hole in your head"
But
How can you say anymore?
Because love never stops
If you could just
Stop
Pause time
Rewind
And rid yourself of feelings
Because you want to
Then why am I still holding onto
These needles praying you'll pull me off?
Maybe it's easier for a whole person.... Maybe
It's easier to tear someone apart
Than to be torn apart
Maybe you're better off than me
Maybe you're better at hiding your hurt
But maybe
Maybe so
You didn't love me at all
Maybe you don't care at all
Maybe you lied
Maybe you used me to feel better maybe I'm nothing more than a light fixture in the corner of your room
That you pull towards your bed when you need light
Possibly.....
But I don't understand
Comprehend
Can't process this without you
So
My question is
Did you love me?
Do you love me?