Blog #5 - Zoe

I'm sure you heard the commercial on TV, the one that says something like: "but inside, I feel chronic widespread pain.." Yeah. me too. Let's go to the beginning.

I don't remember exactly when I started complaining of hurting. I do remember going to the doctor a lot complaining of my legs hurting, feeling tired all the time no matter how much I slept and napped. Talking of sleep, I started having sleep issues as well around that time. I remember feeling so frustrated because some doctors I saw were at a loss of what was causing it and others just brushed it off as growing pains (which I knew it wasn't, and so did my parents). We kept going to the doctor and finally, I told the doctor that it wasn't growing pains. It just wasn't. I was 12 or 13 and I was starting to get bad grades and I wasn't sleeping well. After some of the smallest exercises I was feeling more sore that I should be. Finally, after a while, we found a doctor who was going to help me. I was getting blood drawn all the time, doctors desperate to find a cause of my aches. They didn't find anything, of course. My doctor thought I had restless leg syndrome for a while, and a couple other things that I don't remember the names of at the moment. Flash forward to when I was 14, I went to urgent care because my doctor's office was closed and I was going through a flare-up, which is when all the symptoms are worse than usual. The doctor that was there was one of the most helpful doctors I've ever met. She was so kind and sounded genuinely concerned. She wasn't the first doctor who brought up fibromyalgia being a possibility, but she was the first who asked me a series of questions that you're supposed to be asked when it's a possibility. Soon after, I was diagnosed. 

There's no physical marker saying "hey, this part of my body isn't normal" and there's no marker showing up in different bloodwork or any other tests. This is why it's called an invisible illness. All the doctors have to diagnose you with is just from the symptoms you experience. Well, some doctors don't even believe it's a real thing because they can't see it, which is awful and frustrating. There's also not a cure, just medications to treat different symptoms, such as insomnia, pain, depression, and so forth. Because I'm so young and fibro is rare for teenagers, there's really nothing I can take that insurance will cover. There's talk therapy and physical therapy. Physical therapy was honestly so fun and relaxing. I got to walk around in a heated pool and stretch and I wasn't hurting near as bad. I got to go two times a week and do it. I don't do it anymore, but baths work decently as well. 

Now I know I have over 300 words :-)