everyone needs a little humor in their life, so here's some funny quotes to get your day going!
1. The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.
-Businessman Stanley Randall
2. “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday, Billy Sunday, the Man and His Message: With His Own Words Which Have Won Thousands for Christ
3. “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain
4. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guisewite
5. “If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
― Jerry Seinfeld
6. “That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
― George Carlin
7. “If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
8. “I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist”
― Gena Showalter, Seduce the Darkness
9.“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
― Will Rogers
10. There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
11. The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.
12. Don’t ever hit a person with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
13.Group projects in school make me understand why Batman prefers working alone.
14. This is a real truth: You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper, for example.
15. Read through the label of ingredients of your food and then you’’ understand why it’s important to pray before you eat.
16. Today I have texted my friends: “hey, I’ve lost my phone somewhere, can you give me a call?”. 12 friends called me. I think I need to start looking for more intelligent friends.
17.Don’t worry, computer, even I go to sleep after 30 minutes of inactivity.
18.This happens for everyone – when you don’t know how to spell a word, you think of a whole new sentence to avoid using it.
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ReplyDeleteI think all of these are highly relatable! I think three of the quotes that made me laugh the most would be “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
ReplyDelete― Cathy Guisewite; "The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form."
-Businessman Stanley Randall; and “If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
― Lawrence Ferlinghetti. I think all of these quotes are very good though. A lot of them made me ponder for awhile. You did a very good job on this blog! it definitely made me think and laugh! Great job Karlee! --Jo Baker-7
Hey Kandy, Matty B here. I liked this post. It was nice to have a little laugh before I lay my weary head down to sleep. Anywho, I liked all of these quotes but the ones that really gave me a laugh were "This is a real truth: You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper, for example." and "Read through the label of ingredients of your food and then you understand why it’s important to pray before you eat." I like the theme of your posts and think you're doing a swell job. Keep up the good work kiddo ;)
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numero 3
Dear Karlee Sanders, thank you for showing me this funny quotes. i think these quotes were relatable for every one. The one that really stuck in my head though, was the one that said "going to church doesn't mean you are a christian, any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile." that quote is very true. People who go to church makes you a christian, but that's not the case. Thank you so much for pointing that out to some people because people do believe going to church makes them a christian when it does not. I love u sm -whitney
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