How To: Watch Doctor Who - Harrison McCall #12

Warning: How to is a Harrison's guide on how to do something and it does contain personal opinion and bias. Those who have opposing opinions on how to do should look away now.

Doctor  Who is a TV show about a 900-year-old alien called the Doctor who comes from from the planet Gallifrey, home of the Timelords (which he is the last of). Timelords have developed the ability to regenerate. Each Timelord has enough regeneration energy to regenerate 12 times. Then after that, they die for good. When regenerating Timelords are very weak and could be killed during this time. While the Idea of living 12 times seems pretty cool Doctor Who embraces the dark side of it by showing that anything he ever grows attached to fades away and leaves him and you heart broken. They have also learned to manipulate the big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff. This allows them to travel through space and time using machines they have made called Tardisses... Tardi... whatever the plural of a Tardis is, which stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. The reason it says relative dimension is because Timelords have made a special technological advancement that allows things to be bigger on the inside. Pretty much you could take a shoe box and store every pair of shoes ever made in that one box because on the inside of that shoe box is a building the size of three Earths because science. This causes a Tardis to be infinite in size on the inside but finite on the outside. The Doctor uses his Tardis to fly around with a companion, (usually human and female) traveling the universe looking at all sorts of amazing things, and always finding some evil aliens to fight along the way, saving some group of people (once again, usually humans).  The confusing part is the Timelines, which wrap around themselves so much it makes Inception look like a 1 piece jigsaw puzzle. For Example, there is a point in the show where the Doctor is being shot by his wife, while his wife watches, then his wife tries to shoot his wife, but is stopped by his best friend who is pregnant with his wife. That happens. That is Doctor Who Basically. As far as how to Doctor Who, these are a few steps:

Step 1: Don't Blink

Step 2: Stetsons, Fezzes, and Bowties are cool

Step 3: Are you my mummy?

Step 4: Spoilers

Step 5: Bring tissues because the show is written by the evil Steven Moffat, who feeds on the tears of Whovians around the world.

Step 6: Rage about having to wait until 2017, when the next season comes out.