part two- sydney adams 22

 i don't even appreciate the many adventures I go on because I am constantly facing a crippling sensation that I could be doing something more. that I could be thinking deeper or living wilder, anything but what I actually am doing. though there's clearly some psychological mishap going on upstairs I feel that social media in part is to blame. we spend our days drooling over perfectly timed and extremely planned photos of insane adventures that make us feel as if the lives we lead are some how lesser. that what we're spending our days doing isn't good enough and when I think about it it sounds silly because it's just a photo and those people are no better than I. yet I make myself miserable for not taking more chances or griping about my location, the opportunities presented to me or the lack there of. it makes me excessively pessimistic which in turn makes me into an unhappy person that I don't like. I don't believe the feeling will ever fade until I realize that everything seems better to onlookers. and yeah many people will go on many explorations and escapades but that in no way makes my life an ill lived one.